Hello, Newman!

I was just thinking about this shit.
So many fucked up things happen to me at this office that i forget to blog all of them.

So the mailman hates me. Hahahah... That fucking douche.

A few months ago, we got into a scuffle. He used be so nice, until...

Well, I keep a bin of outgoing mail on the front desk and the douches in the office never stamp them (yeah, I have to do that too), so someone put a stack of envelopes on the bin right before he came to drop off/collect the mail.

So we were chatting and he grabbed the whole stack, and I told him, those weren't stamped.
Ooooh, he was pissed. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE THOSE THERE IF THEY ARE NOT STAMPED!!!"; I told him, "You know I just told you they are not stamped, so what's the big deal?"
"YOU CAN'T LEAVE THEM THERE!!!" <
So I just took down the bin and asked him: "Is that better, mailman?" What an ASSHOLE!

I'm sorry, but the last time I checked this is my fucking desk and can do whatever the fuck I want!

So it's been three of four months and he hasn't talked to me. I managed to piss of the mailman. hahahaha

He reminds me of Newman - that evil bastard!

C. U. Next Time

So I haven't blogged in forever...I have been pretty busy lately.

So Mr. Pompous Punk got a new Executive Assistant.

Well, she's fucking dumb. The other day, that stupid fuck was trying to fax something to Mini-Mullet man; the only problem was she was trying to fax it to our main number.

What a fucking 'tard.

So she calls me all pissy, the best part is, she dialed out long distance instead of calling my ext. What dumb whore.So I couldn't resit but tell her: "You know you can just dial my ext, you don't have to dial long distance, right?!.";

Ohhh, she wasn't having it. She goes: "More importantly, what's your fax number?" hahahaha

She's so fucking dumb and lazy, she couldn't look it up on the office directory. What the fuckity-fuck is her problem?

OMG, I can't believe this dumb bitch is probably making twice as much as I am being Mr. Pompous Punk's Exec Assistant. What a crock of shit.

Dumb fucking cunt.

My lord, I hate this place.

This is place is giving me the heebie jeebies!

OMG!!! I'm so fucking bored...

It's the day after Christmas, and I have to work as part of the "skeleton crew". They were not kidding when they said "Skeleton Crew". This is place is dead. I'm the only person here. I have not taken a single phone call since I got in at 8AM this morning.

I think I've read every news, checked 50+ pages of Perez Hilton, have checked every profile on my social network page. I can't take it anymore...

Get me out of here!!!!!!!

If I have to stay here 'til 5PM, I think I'm going to have a fit.

Happy HOlidays!

So i get this Christmas Card today from our beloved President, Mr. Hotstuff.

This is by far, the most interesting card I have ever received in my life.

It starts out really nice, with a picture of him and his wife, and once you open the card , they have small pictures of "Special Events in 2008".

Well, this year was very fucking special. Trips to Orlando, a shirtless picture of his man-boobs holding a bottle of tequila while "Hangin' Out in Cancun", his wife flew to Malaysia "(first class of course)", his son got a new car, Hotstuff went to the Bahamas on his 2nd week working in this hole (see post for the $40K company trip), amongst other gagging pictures, and in the end, of course, his huge, gorgeous mansion in ATL, which says "It snowed in ATL".

Well, Mr. Hotstuff, I sure hope your 2009 is even more special, and that you really get to go on the next company trip to Mexico; but please, no shirtless pictures of your man-boobs hanging out, and try to stay away from tequila bottles this time, because, obviously, you must have been fucking wasted when you decided to send your staff that Christmas card!

Happy B-day Jesus! HO HO HO...

I wish diarrhea upon you!

Dead JJ at your stupid-ass used car dealership,

I wish diarrhea upon you!

Yes, you! You fucking suck!

You are a fucking ignorant, fucking dickhead, prick, broke mortherfucker that thinks you are so fucking important because you bought a fucking phone system for your fucking car dealership - you can't even make payments on that bitch, fuck you!

I can't stand your fucking voice. I hope you keep yelling like you do, until you don't have any vocal cords left in your stupid self.

Asshole.

"We're all in this together"

Wow! What a crock of shit!

So after my fabulous three days vacation, I'm back in the hole.

We had a company-wide meeting first thing this morning. Great.

All right, so the economy really sucks right now, and everybody is hurting. We need to cut costs. So we have two options: Fire more people or take a pay cut. Four days work week.

FUCK!

So, Mr. Hot Stuff says "We're all in this together". Motherfucker, I'm broke! I'm sure your ass is not broke! We're all in this together?! BITCH PUH-LEASE!!! Your ass is not taking a pay cut! You're still working 40-hours a week and certainly getting generously reimbursed for it too.

So, we're all in this together, but only the hourly employees are taking a pay cut. The big shots making all the big bucks are not being affected. For all they care, they'll take another fucking vacation to the Caribbean, they don't give a rat's ass. Oh yeah, they just laid off five people last month, is cutting our hours by -8 a week, and just took a $40K (yes, as in forty-thousand dollars - $40,000) trip to the Caribbean last month.

I'm glad I have a job, I'm thankful, I really am. But please don't try to compare yourself/selves to the rest of us. I'm not fucking stupid, and we are NOT in this together. At the end of the day, your ass still lives comfortably, your 401K is untouched, your car and house is paid off, and the rest of us is struggling to pay the rent.

So...

FUCK YOU POMPOUS PUNKS!

I give up!

So, this guy at work has been a total jerk to me, right?

I decided to suck it up, and write him a nice little note, apologizing for whatever I could have done that pissed him off (which I have no idea what I could have done to get him so angry).

Anyway, I left him this gay little note with purple print and cute flowers and little gay-ass bird on his desk Friday night.

So he walks into our Monday morning meeting with the envolope on his hands. The meeting goes on, and he is reading this shit. I couldn't even look him, I was so embarrased.

Afterwards, our manager, Mini-mullet guy, calls both of us into his office to have a nice little pow-wow. Couples therapy kind of meeting. After half hour of blah blah blah, Mini-mullet asks if we want to say anything. Once again, my stupid ass sucks it up and says "If I have done anything to annoy you or that you found disrespectful, I apologize. But I can't fix what I don't know is wrong." All he had to say was "I think we should work on our communication."

Well, it is now Tuesday at 3:30PM and he hasn't said shit about the fucking note. So much for communicating.

How gay.